I CANNOT stop eating these!! It's so embarrassing and it's so shameful to even like them, but I can't help it. If you ever want to feel like white-trash, just roll on up to your local KFC & ask for a Famous Mashed Potato Bowl. I feel like the employees are gagging at me when I'm not looking. If you want to make yourself feel even MORE trashy, go to that same KFC for three consecutive days. Believe me, there is no worse walk of shame than sitting down in KFC for the third time in three days with your pile of goo and your spork in hand. If the picture doesn't show it off, let me explain exactly what this creation is: The bottom is KFC's amazing mashed potatoes. Mixed in are huge chunks of chicken strips (breaded, just for good measure). On top of that is about a half a pound of sweet corn. On top of those 3 starch items is the brown goodness that is their gravy. Then....as if all of this was not enough....they cover the top in 3 cheeses. Those ANIMALS!!! If you stir it all together really fast when it's still hot the cheese melts into the mashed potatoes. Believe me, I should know.
In the past ten days, I have eaten this five times. I have never had a problem like this. I never get addicted to anything (besides caffeine, which isn't actually an addiction, it's just a way of life.) Now I know how Laurie felt with her Huckleberry Shake from Arctic Circle. She used to go there so often but would pretend it was her first time there, like, "Hmmm, I think I'll try your Huckleberry Shake. Is that any good?" They TOTALLY knew it was her!
I tried this tactic a few days ago, going through the drive thru and saying something like, "I guess I'll have a mashed potato bowl, I mean I have a coupon for it so I guess I'll give it a whirl." Yeah, the guy at the window was the same guy that had helped me the time before, and possibly the time before that. Good thing I had my sunglasses on...they make me feel mysterious. (By the way, the coupon was given to me by an employee at my work because they knew how fanatic I had become. Now that's embarrassing.)
Today I swore that I had eaten my last KFC Famous Mashed Potato. I almost shed a tear as I sucked down my Mountain Dew and took the last bite, which, as if mocking me, had the perfect amount of chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, gravy and cheese on it. I threw the empty bowl away, patted my stomach and silently said goodbye to that place that had become my haven for 30 minutes a day.
Goodbye Colonel. My pants that don't fit anymore would like me to relay a message to you: You and your bowls can just go to hell!
5 comments:
haha, i can totally identify! i'm getting a spare-cruiser-bike-sized-tire around my waist here. i wish it was 10-speed-sized, but alas, no... yesterday was bad- we had strawberries and ice cream (everyone was there, inger, and sara and her kids, plus our usual bunch)... i felt like such an overeating excessive american. everyone took reasonable amounts of ice cream, a few strawberries... maybe a bit of whipped cream or chocolate or butterscotch syrup. but not me! i took some of everything, plus all the toppings, plus a crapload of strawberries, PLUS seconds! oh, the shame! haha. you'd think i'd learn portion control here...
Ok, I looked it up--720 calories and 34 grams of fat...is that better or worse than you anticipated?
When I was in high school KFC had these little chicken sandwich things that they loaded with mayo and I couldn't stop eating them...there really must be an addictive chemical from the Colonel!
oh god, i LOVED chicken littles! those were the best things EVER!!
Dear, dear Carly,
"how can you hate "The Colonel"?"
"Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!"
It's hopeless... my dear.
:~)
I am laughing so hard I have tears! I LOVE their potatoes. Anything with those in them would be addicting. Jason had a love affair with Arctic Circle's Heath shake. Ahhh fast food. What would we do without it. It reminds me of that Seinfeld episode:
Kenny? Kenny?
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