Taking it easy.

Yesterday was my D&C and it went as well as it could. I first met with my OBGYN, who basically explained everything in detail to me and was very kind and sympathetic. I then checked into the surgery center and was taken back to my temporary "room." The nurses were unbelievably nice and gave me a bunch of hot blankets and let me read my book while we waited for the operating room. Luckily they were running behind so Levi was able to meet me there before the procedure. We hung out and chatted and I really felt fortunate to be surrounded by such nice people. They gave me the sedation stuff through my i.v. about ten minutes before being wheeled back. Can I just say how much I love that stuff?? If there is one good thing about surgery, it's getting that wonderful sedation cocktail.
After wheeling me back to the O.R., they had me shimmy onto the operating table, still covered by warm blankets at this point, and then gave me the oxygen mask and then knocked me out through the I.V. After having such a good experience before the operation, I surprised myself when I woke up sobbing in the recovery room. I wasn't in extreme physical pain, I was just sad beyond belief. I realized that my baby was gone and I have never in my life felt such a loss. The nurse that was there with me tried comforting me but I couldn't stop crying and I asked that they get Levi for me. He came back and was very sweet and just let me cry and mourn. I could hear the nurses talking to the doctor and they were saying, "She's fine, she's just very emotional." and I thought that summed it up pretty well. I am fine and I will be fine, but I just wanted to have a little bit of time to cry and be sad. I realize that the baby wasn't healthy and I realize that I wouldn't have wanted to carry an unhealthy baby to full term, but I still sometimes just need a good cry.
Thankfully, I have the world's best husband who has been with me for every part of this journey. He is my rock and he is the reason I'll make it though this tough time. In addition to Levi, my sisters, brother and mom have been absolutely amazing. Thank you all so much for all your prayers and phone calls. I have been overwhelmed by the love you have all sent my way and I don't think I could have done it without you.
Throughout this long process of trying to get pregnant, I have learned so many things. The most important thing, I think, is what a great life I have. I have so many things to be thankful for and I'm confident that it will only get better in the future. Having my mom move in with us is going to be fantastic and we are so excited to have her here as soon as possible! I've learned that as long as you're surrounded by people you love, it makes the trials and tribulations just a little bit easier. If there is anyone who has had some trials of her own this past year, it's my mom. She has had some of the worst things possible happen to her, yet she wakes up everyday and is there for everyone when they need her. This is the kind of thing that motivates me and inspires me to put on a happy face and lean on those around me for support and guidance. I love you mom and I hope you know how much you've helped me throughout these past two years.
I hope this post isn't too rambly (is that a word?) I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm fine and I sometimes find that using this blog to express my feelings has been helpful. Thanks for putting up with me!