My favorite place in Boise.

Can I just say how happy I am with the outcome of the Oscars. I really feel like the right movies were rewarded in their proper place.
One of my favorite things about living in Boise is having The Flicks theater so close. The Flicks is a locally owned, independent movie theater. It's a small movie house with two normal sized screens and two smaller screens. They serve food and have homemade cookies and don't charge out the nose for a tub of popcorn. When I first moved to Boise and didn't know very many people, I would go there all the time and catch the latest independent movies. Salt Lake City has a couple of indie movie houses so I was grateful to still have the chance to catch great movies. Don't get me wrong, I love going to the movies just about anywhere, but The Flicks definitely has a special place in my heart (and a special place in my stomach too, since they have the world's BEST panini sandwiches!)
Having that type of movie house in Boise has been so great for Levi and me. We got to see The Hurt Locker when it wasn't even playing in most cities. We've also seen amazing foreign movies and other movies that wouldn't normally play at a regular cinema. We saw Slumdog Millionaire three times at Flicks before it even hit the regular theaters. Can I also just say that it was the first place to be playing Napoleon Dynamite before it became popular :) Heather and I saw it there and were howling with laughter so hard, I was sure the people in the lobby could hear us.
So because of this place, I was able to see just about every single one of the Oscar nominated films. The only ones I haven't seen yet are The Blind Side and Precious. Obviously I was cheering for The Hurt Locker to win, but I was also so glad to see Jeff Bridges win for Crazy Heart and Christoph Waltz win Best Supporting Actor.
I love it also for opening my eyes to so many great movies. We wouldn't have ever seen Waltz with Bashir or The Lives of Others.
In days where movies like Avatar (which I strongly disliked) are the clear-cut box office winners, it's good to know I have a place to go see the underdogs.

Another fun website

Hackedirl.com




It's definitely good for a chuckle.

Time flies.

Some of Levi's birthday treasures :)
Phew, how is it already March?!
Last week we had a lot of fun with Eliza and Levi's birthday. My mom and nieces Carlie and Rachel came up with her and we had a blast. I have pictures of Eliza's birthday, but I haven't got the chance to upload them yet. Levi's party was a success. Bowling at the BSU student union building followed by The Big Lebowski at my father in law's house. Levi made out like a bandit and I wanted to say thank you to everyone who came or wished him a happy 30th.
I'm getting really excited for Spring. This WILL be the year I fix up the yard, despite having two dogs who are determined to ruin my efforts. Our rock garden will be complete and we'll lay more sod in areas that have died. I'm so excited for baseball to start. Life is always better when a game's on. Buying the MLB Extra Innings ticket for DirecTV is one of the best purchases we ever made.
Well, I have to get ready for work. Here are some pics of the party (although anyone who reads this is already on Facebook and has probably already seen these. Oh well.)

Quick post

I just have a minute before I need to go get my hair did. Levi's birthday was yesterday but his party isn't until Saturday. I gave him one present yesterday and he'll have to wait for the rest. We went to dinner and finished up season one of "Brotherhood". I still can't believe Levi is 30! I happen to like being in my late twenties and would like to stay just where I am :)
My mom's surgery was successful and we're so grateful to all the family in Utah for taking good care of her. Love you mom!
Levi and I are on day EIGHT without Diet Pepsi or Mountain Dew. It's been easier than we thought, though not without some tough moments. I find that I don't want to eat as much junk food because the junk food always tasted better with Mountain Dew. I hope I can keep up the momentum. I've still had Sprite and Fresca whenever I crave the citrus or the fizziness, but otherwise I'm surviving on cans of Lipton's Ice Tea and gas station french vanilla cappuccinos.
Well, I'm off to the hair salon. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get short bangs again, unless I change my mind on the way there. I've decided that I'm going to start a hair magazine that shows how different styles would look on a woman with meat on her bones. All the hair magazines have twig-thin models so of course pixie cuts look amazing. People need to see what would look decent on a REAL person.
Well, I'll update later. Hope everyone is having a great day!

Lent.

Levi and I have made a BIG commitment for Lent: We're giving up our sodas. I'll be giving up my beloved Mountain Dew for forty days and Levi will be giving up his addiction to Diet Pepsi. This is huge. Levi can drink over 64 ounces of Diet Pepsi a day, and while I don't drink nearly that much Mountain Dew, I've rarely gone a day without that neon green drink.
Wish us luck!! (This is going to be harder than I thought. While googling images of Mountain Dew to put on this blog I practically started salivating at the mouth for the citrus-y goodness.)

Tuesday ramblings.

Another month with disappointing news. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but I must have a buried well of blind optimism in me, because I always think "this IS the month!" I guess that's better than being a full-blown cynic, I just need to figure out a balance so I'm not so crushed every time I get a visit from the period fairy.
I found a doctor on my insurance's website who I think might be able to help me. I get a good vibe from him because his page bio says he had interests in infertility and he has five kids himself...so obviously he knows HOW to conceive. Also he went to BYU and served a mission in Japan. Bonus points! I'm going to call tomorrow and see if I can meet with him ASAP. I'm really ready to try something else, something that doesn't cost a fortune. Wish me luck.

In other news, I NEED A HAIRCUT! I was trying to grow my hair out (my sisters are probably rolling their eyes in understanding at this statement.) All three of us have tried to "grow" our hair out and we always end up chopping it off. Apparently we weren't meant for hair below the shoulders. (I guess that rules out polygamy for us!) I'm definitely thinking I want bangs again. Also, my hair has been this atrocious mousy blonde for WAY too long and I'm looking to get some serious blonde in there or else some great secondary colors. I feel like my hair is the one thing I have control over. Things such as my giant butt are something I'm working on, but results may take a while. Haircuts are instant. I like instant.

Valentines Day was a nice day, indeed. Levi & I went to the state capitol, which recently reopened after being renovated. It's beautiful and the money was well spent because it makes a person proud to live in Idaho. I love how close we live to this.



Looking up at the dome. Gorgeous, no?





Afterwards we took the dogs to the dog park and had a good time.

Whom is walking whom?



That night we made brownies and watched Amelie, my all time favorite romantic move. Calling it a romantic comedy doesn't do it justice. It's so sweet, so funny, so beautiful. Seriously, doesn't this music give you CHILLS?!


Anyways, that's my update. I'm going to kick off my shoes and park my butt on the couch. Only a few more weeks until opening day of baseball!!

Awesome card

Post 201: Valentine's Day

Normally Valentine's Day isn't my favorite holiday. I don't dislike it, I just prefer other holidays like Halloween and Fourth of July. That said, I would like to take this particular day to gloat about my wonderful hubby. I feel like I've posted many reasons why Levi is great, so I'm sorry if any of these are repeats, I just want the world to know how much I appreciate him. Here are some of those reason:

1.Familiarity. I realize that this gets better as the years go by. We know each other's routines, habits, preferences, etc. and it is the most fabulous thing. Our routine is so comfortable and I wouldn't change it for anything. From April to October it's baseball and dinner after we're both home from work, and in the winter we catch up on all our DVDs. When we go to bed we both read for a little while and then go to sleep, me always laying on my right side and Levi putting his left arm around me. I couldn't fall asleep any other way. The only thing unromantic about this when he rips a big fart just as I'm falling asleep. I think my dad would be proud. Levi insists that I fart in bed too, but we all know that girls don't fart. Am I right ladies?

2. Loyalty. Levi would do ANYTHING for the people he loves. Just today he was over at his dad's house helping with home improvement stuff, this is the second Saturday in a row he has helped his dad out with this stuff. He has no problem using his days off to help his family. I also benefit from this trait and am frequently blessed with him dropping everything he wants to do for doing what I want to do.

3. Humor. I don't know anyone who can make me laugh through storytelling the way Levi does. He remembers acute details about people and can relay these details into stories. Where anyone else would say, "Today I saw a person trip and almost fall." Levi can describe their clothes, the way they flailed their arms and what their face looked like while it was happening. It makes for some very amusing tales and I'm glad anytime I have a bad day he's waiting with a funny story.

Those are just three little reasons why I have one helluva great husband. Levi, this Valentine's Day I hope you know how much I love and respect you. You are my other half and I think life would be completely bland without you. Love you!!

Would it be classified as TMI?

I've realized my life has taken me down a path I had not planned when I feel like skipping up to strangers and saying, "Guess what? I ovulated this month! For the first time in three months!" And then skip away.

Shoes, sales, hormones and home improvement.

My feet decided to revolt against me. Normally I wear cute shoes that cost under $30, and it finally started to catch up to me. At my job, not only do I walk around three to five miles per day (the store is HUGE), but I'm also usually carrying heavy loads of books or shelves. A couple of days ago I got out of bed when my alarm went off and felt pain all over in my feet, in the arches, the heels, even my toes hurt. I decided to bite the bullet and invest in a quality pair of shoes:

Let's just say they make me feel a quarter of a century older since all the women I work with who wear these shoes are exactly 50 years old and up. Normally I would just suck it up and wear the cute, cheap shoes that I always do, but these shoes are VERY comfortable and I'm excited for my feet to start healing. The only crappy thing about it was paying nearly full price for them (they were on "sale" for $99) and then finding out I could have bought them online for just over half that. Bummer. Lesson learned.
But for every sale opportunity door that closes, another opens. Today I went to Urban Outfitters to find a Valentines Day knick knack for Levi and walked out empty handed (not to mention a little discouraged that my right arm couldn't fit into anything in that store), and wandered into the Ann Taylor next door. They are having a great sale and I got a black cardigan (what else?) that was normally $68.99 for $9.99 and a fitted jacket that was normally $98 for $19.98. Score!!

Here is the jacket. Stacy and Clinton insist that every woman needs a fitted jacket to pair with either rich looking trousers, a fitted pencil skirt or a great pair of jeans. I have none of those those three (well, I do have four pencil skirts, they just don't fit anymore.) I do however have my overly-worn, frayed-at-the-hem Target-brand work pants. I will somehow make this outfit work!
In more good news, I got my monthly progesterone test back yesterday and it was a great number. The assistant said it was my second highest number yet (32). She left me a cute message that said, "Keep going and don't forget to continue to have intercourse!" Like we could forget! It's practically marked on the calendar, for Pete's sake. Trying to get pregnant for so long sure does take the romance out of the whole thing. Someday it will all be worth it :)
Levi's birthday is almost upon us, which means my mom's visit is almost here! This year she is bringing not only Carlie Paige with her, but cutie Rachel as well. We're so excited for their visit.
For the last few days, we've been playing "Find the Smell" in our home and have finally located the source. About three days ago, the pipe that goes between the dishwasher and the garbage disposal came loose and water got everywhere. We thought we mopped it up but the smell of old water permeated our house. We kept getting on our hands and knees and sniffing all around the kitchen to no avail. Finally Levi figured out that it was underneath our faux hardwood flooring and was able to pull up a couple of pieces to air it out. Hopefully this works. I'm tired of that musty smell!
Well, I better go. It's my day off and the house is totally messy. Guess I better get to it :)

Drought

I have absolutely nothing to report. How is it possible that NOTHING has happened over the last month. Literally, nothing worth reporting. I know that they say that no news is good news, but I'm not so sure. No news is embarrassing and makes me question what I'm doing with my life. Seriously, if I can't find one single thing to report, is my life even half as interesting as I'd hoped it'd be?

New Favorite.

Tonight I let Levi pick the movie we went to and, surprisingly, he picked The Young Victoria. It was BEAUTIFUL! Very romantic, very sweeping. Absolutely gorgeous.
Highly, highly recommend it.

A Great American Voice

J.D. Salinger passed away today and it's got me thinking about his fiction. To explain how much I love The Catcher in the Rye is like trying to explain why I like baseball: I just do. Something in my brain clicked the first time I read that book (in Heather's Jackson Hole apartment the summer I turned fourteen) and I've never looked back. His rule-breaking style of writing and his understanding of adolescent angst is unparalleled. I respect that he was a recluse and didn't want to be hounded. Great artists aren't usually the ones in the tabloids, they're the ones quietly putting out masterpieces. I can only hope another book will come along and sweep me off my feet the way The Catcher in the Rye did.

"I don't care if it's a sad good-by or a bad good-by, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it. If you don't, you feel even worse."
-Holden Caulfield

The Big Leviowski

I'm getting so excited for Levi's 30th birthday! Not only are we going to have a great bowling party, but my mom and two of my nieces will be in town too! I reserved three lanes at the BSU student union building on Saturday February 27th and I'm putting the word out to any family or friends within fifty miles of Boise to join us.
Afterwards there will be the requisite viewing of The Big Lebowski. Can't wait!!

P.S. One of these days Levi and I will attend the northwest Lebowskifest in Seattle.

Happy Birthday Scott!!

(No kittehs were harmed in the making of this picture, at least I don't think they were. LOL!)

Happy Birthday to my FAVORITE big brother. Ok, he's my only big brother, but I'd bet that even if he wasn't the only brother in our little family, he'd still be my favorite. Scott has a way of making people feel special, whether it's phone calls, a great big "Scott" hug, or his willingness to say "I love you." Scott is one of the warmest human beings and I am still bummed out that I never had a teacher as cool as him. Scott and I can have an entire conversation, just in movie quotes. That is a talent he ensured I had, ever since I was a little girl :) His wife Stephanie and his girls Athena, Cassidy and Whitney are all very lucky women to have him in their lives.
Scott, on this day I hope you know how much Levi and I love you. You are my big brother, my father figure and my friend. I love you and hope you have a great birthday!!

"Hey Whitey, where's your hat?!"

My mom has GREAT taste.

So my mom has a big crush on Mike Holmes from HGTV's "Holmes on Homes."


Hmmmm.....I wonder why.....


Eeenie Meenie...


Miney Mo...

LOL!!

The Little Babushka

That was the best picture I could get of Buster with his scarf on, he wiggled around too much. He's a very funny dog and we're lucky to have him in our lives.

Just though you should all know.....

....that my sisters are amazing.
That's all.

More bad news

Today I found out that my progesterone levels for this month were extremely low, which basically means I didn't ovulate fully, even though I took my normal dosage of Clomid. This was the first month I was back on Clomid since the last miscarriage and I had such high hopes that we would get pregnant right away. I know everyone out there is probably sick of hearing me be sad about our situation, but today was such a blow. I really thought I was ovulating fine (every other month that I've been on Clomid I've averaged between 11-14 ng/mL and this month is was only 4. 5ng/mL is the minimum number for real ovulation.)
Was I given a placebo dosage of Clomid? I don't think so since I exhibited all the symptoms of it, like hot flashes and crazy mood swings. I don't know why my number was so low this month and I can't believe how bummed out I am about it. You'd think I'd get used to this, but it seems to only get harder with each passing month.
Most people live their life knowing, consciously or unconsciously, that the next step is coming, whether that be marriage, kids, a career, etc. I've realized now, that I've been waiting my whole life for the next step being kids and now I'm having to face the fact that it may never happen. I have no way of turning off my biological clock and I simply can't let myself think that I may go through my whole life without a child. How can this be? I've wanted nothing more and it's the one thing I can't have.
I have a fantastic life, there's no denying that. I have a great husband, a cute house and a great job. I am so appreciative of these things. I just don't feel complete yet, and the only thing that will complete us is a child in our home.
I used to say that I would only want a boy baby. Now I say I don't care what sex it was, as long as I can get pregnant. I used to say that I wanted at least two kids. Now I say I don't care if I only have the one, one would be perfect. I used to say that I wished our house had a bigger room for the baby. Now I say I would live in a one bedroom studio apartment if it meant we could have a family. I used to say that I would only want a baby if I didn't have to work full time. Now I say that I would work two full time jobs if it meant we could bring a life into this world. I've given up every preconceived notion of what it would be like to have a family and would now explore any option.
I think one of the hardest things is feeling so alone with this. I literally don't know anyone who suffered from infertility and just never had any kids. Most people can afford to have in-vitro or adopt. We have no options, other than monthly medication, and I'm scared to death it won't work. My mom wonders if there is a support group out there for people suffering from infertility and I'm going to start looking for one.
I know most people use their blogs to write happy updates and funny stories from their kids, so I'm sorry if this bums anyone out. I just have to get my feelings out there. I hope one day to use my blog to tell a funny story of something my child did or said, but for right now I'm using it to air my feelings and frustrations with our infertility.
I normally don't request anything like this, but if possible, please pray for Levi and me. It's very humbling to realize there's nothing you can do and have to rely on your faith to see you through a tough time. I've never asked for prayers for myself, I've always thought I could handle anything that got in my way, but not this. This is different and we need your prayers. Please help us with our dream of having children.

Thank you,
Carly