This is very funny

If you haven't seen it yet, the new issue of Entertainment Weekly has Edward and Bella from Twilight on the cover and Edward is NOT looking hot. Now I am not the biggest fan of these books, I don't think they're written that well and I feel like Stephenie Meyer is still probably discovering herself as a writer, but I will probably see the movie and this cover is totally disappointing! Use this link to see the cover and read a hilarious critique of it:

Entertainment Weekly Twilight Cast

Move Quote Quiz

Scott and Heather have both posted movie quote quizzes and I'm the next to challenge the family to guessing what movies these quotes came from. No cheating!!! Just be honest if you don't know the answer and I'll post some hints.

1. "There is no Hans, there is only me, Fritz."
2. "Are you gonna eat your fat?"
3. "I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy."
4. "Many girls want to be carnal with me because I'm such a premium dancer." (Ok, so only Heather will probably know that one...the rest of you should rent that movie!)
5. "I'm gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period French."
6. "It's about time Benny, my clothes are going outta style."
7. "Maybe it's a bowling alley!"
8. "By the way, I loved you in the Wizard of Oz"
9. ""Ditto?" "Ditto," you provincial putz?"
10."I almost killed you right then! You do not even realize!"

Leggy Weggy

For those of you hadn't heard (I know news travels fast in this familiy), Levi broke his leg on Sunday afternoon. Scott, I did get your message and I'm so sorry I didn't call you right back. Everything is fine, I've just been insanely busy and haven't had time to do anything. I appreciated your message though, you're such a good brother!
Here's how it happened: Levi went downhill mountain biking at Tamarack (kinda like Sundance to all you Utah readers) and on the last curve of his final ride he lost control of the bike and put his leg down get a little more control, but this just caused his leg to bend inward and then outward very quickly. He broke his tibia at the inner right ankle and broke the fibula on the outside, near his calf. Luckily they were closed fractures, so no bones poking through his skin or anything :)
He will be going in for surgery next Wednesday to repair the tendons in his ankle that stretched out. They say it's a non-invasive, easy same-day surgery and total heal time should be about six weeks.
Levi is super bummed that he can't go riding with Justin and Zane at Redfish. Now he'll be stuck with me! I'm still going to make him jump off the dock at least once. You can't go to Redfish without making that jump :)
Anyway, I wanted to thank you all for your concern and all your calls.
Heather, a special thanks to you and Zane and the kids for cleaning up my yard and planting all those beautiful plants. I really don't know how to thank you!

I think it may be time to lose weight....

I went to Ross Dress for Less today and I was making my way to the dressing rooms when I saw a cute pair of black capris hanging up in the go-back rack. I'm always on the lookout for a good pair of black capris because I destroy so many of them at my job. Anyways, I tried them on and was amazed at how well they fit and how comfortable they were. It was like wearing a soft, smooth blanket around my legs. They were a stretch cotton material with no buttons or zippers. I loved them! I decided to double check the tag to see how much they cost and that's when I made my discovery:

Yep, I was trying on maternity pants.

I almost started crying in the dressing room! How could I have let myself go like this! How could I fit snuggly into a pair of pants made for a person with a growing human in their STOMACH!? I thought back to all the Mountain Dews I've had over the past 5 years (the number has to be in the thousands) and all the bags of M&Ms and slices of pizza. Was it worth it?? Was eating all those calories, all the carbs, all the grease and all the gravy really worth it?

The answer? YES. Not only have I enjoyed lots of yummy food these past few years, I am now the proud owner of the most comfortable pants in Boise.

Who doesn't want to be a bobblehead doll?

I don't know why they won't bobble!! They did on the XMBaseball website! Oh well, they still look funny. In addition to the bobbleheads not bobbling, I have a complaint that the Yankees girl uniform looks more slimming than the Red Sox uniform. Hmmm.

Wow, it's been a week since my last posting and absolutely NOTHING interesting has happened! Is that sad? An entire week goes by with nothing to report? Well, I'll find something to write about...let's see....I've been spending as much time as possible this week out in the sun. It's so nice having a backyard where I can lay out. I bought a lawn chair that folds all the way down so I can lay on it and get the backs of my legs tan. It's pretty flimsy and I'm just waiting for it to break while I'm laying on it. If there was an olympic event for breaking lawn chairs, I'd win. Hands down.
I had the day off yesterday (which I REALLY needed!) and Levi and I rode our cruisers downtown and went to Urban Outfitters, where I bought an amazing vest that is normally $55 for $9.99. Oh yeah, Sevy we bought a surprise for you there...you're going to freak out! I'll send it to you tomorrow but I need you to send me your address again. After that we rode to The Flicks and saw Mongol, which is a movie about Genghis Khan's early life. It was amazing. By the time we got back it was almost midnight and our dog Lola was acting like she hadn't seen us in five years. She was so excited, jumping all around and 'singing'. It's so cute.
At my work we get sent advanced reader's copies of books that haven't come out yet and they're free to any employee that wants them. It's a pretty cool thing, but most of the time the advanced copies have not been edited yet and there are millions of grammatical errors and missing paragraphs. I hope that's the reason I hated the book I just finished yesterday. It's called Iodine by Haven Kimmel and I really didn't enjoy it. It was very fragmented and I'm hoping that is because there were literally paragraphs missing. Maybe I'll scan through the real book when it's released in August and see if it's any better. I hate wasting time on a crumby book because it's not like a crappy tv show that only takes up 20 minutes of your time. No, a book takes up hours and lots of emotion.
So my 26th birthday is coming up soon and I'm actually excited this year. Normally I don't like a lot of fanfare, but this year I decided I either want to go to Boondocks water park, which is similar to Seven Peaks to all my Utah readers, or float the Boise river. Both ideas sound like a lot of fun to me so I'm not sure what we'll end up doing. Here are a couple of gorgeous pictures of the Boise River. You can park at the drop-in point (which is about a mile from where we live) and at the end there is a bus service that takes you back up to the top to get your car. Pretty sweet deal!


Anyways, I'm going to get ready now and maybe head back to Urban Outfitters since they have a couple of Obama t-shirts that I want to get (One of them says, "Obama says knock you out!") Ha ha!!
Hopefully next time I'll have more exciting news...

Best rain delay ever!

Manny Delcarmen and Jonathan Papelbon doing Milli Vanilli.
(To hear the video push pause on my music player, which is on the right side of the page)

And this is why 30 Rock is my favorite show right now...

Happy Father's Day!

Father's Day is a special day for me because I get to reflect on all the men in my family that have been a father figure to me. I have been so blessed to have Zane and Justin as my brothers-in-law. They have been in my life for so long that I can't remember what life was like without them. They are amazing husbands and fathers and have always been great brothers to me. I love you guys!
I want to take the time in this blog to point out two more men that have really been there for me throughout my whole life, surrounding me with love and acting on behalf of my dad, who I know looks down on them from heaven and is proud at what he sees. These two men are my brother Scott and my stepdad Bruce.
Scott is one of the funniest, warmest, most gentle people out there. Anyone reading this that knows Scott can picture his deep voice right now or his big laugh that can put a smile on anybody's face. Scott had to take on a lot of responsibility when my dad died, and he really did step it up. He was the one that baptized me, walked my sister Laurie down the aisle at her wedding and was always there when we needed to talk. I can't imagine life without Scott! He is now a father to 3 beautiful girls, my nieces Athena, Cassidy and Whitney. He and his wife Stephanie have always hosted the best birthday parties at their home and have always provided me with someone I could talk to. Not only that, but Scott is as big of a movie junkie as I am and we could literally quote movies together all day ("Hey Wang, don't tell them you're Jewish.") LOL! I have been so lucky to have Scott in my life and I'm so proud to be his baby sister.
Now for Bruce :) Bruce came into our family at JUST the right time. This was a time when my mom needed a gentle, kind soul in her life and I needed someone that could set a good example of what a husband should be. Bruce fit the bill. My mom married Bruce in 1995 and I now consider him my dad. Uncle-Grandpa, as the grandkids like to call him, is truly one of the sweetest men I've ever known. He's thoughtful, funny and a great father, even though he's been through a lot. Bruce walked me down the aisle to my own wedding and I could not have been happier. He looked so cute in his nice new suit and I really felt my real dad couldn't have been any prouder. Life without Bruce wouldn't be much fun at all. He was there for me to play catch any day that I wanted, he taught me how to drive a stick (and left it to my mom to teach me how to drive a stick up a hill with a stoplight at the top, idling and sweating that I wouldn't hit the car behind me!) He went to lots of my softball games and was there to take pictures of all my dance dates. He's always there to make us laugh (black church socks with shorts, anyone!) and I am so blessed to have him as my dad.

I love you guys so much and I hope that every single man that has had a hand in raising me has a wonderful Father's Day!!

Happy Birthday Sevy!

Today is my sister-in-law Sevy's 26th birthday! I can't just call her up and tell her Happy Birthday because she is in Sweden being a wonderful nanny to a family outside of Stockholm. Sevy, I hope you know how proud we are of you and how much we miss you. I hope today is a super-fantastic birthday and I hope that we'll see you before your 27th! Have a great day and know how much we love you.
I swear your present is on the way....I hope you like it!
Love you!

Sorry Bonnie and Katie!

I received a hilarious message from my Aunt Bonnie yesterday, in which she explains that because of my blog about the KFC Famous Bowls, she and her daughter Katie are now addicted as well. My sister Heather had also started to eat them, but luckily she got the stomach flu after eating one so she won't be eating them again anytime soon.
I have to report that since my original blog post, I relapsed several times and caved in to the promise of fluffy mashed potatoes. I am, however, please to report that it has been over three weeks since my last KFC bowl. Almost one month! I hope I don't relapse again.

Skills.

I don't have a lot of talents. Besides being able to remember useless pop-culture trivia, my only talent is typing very fast. Here's a cool test that I found. I'm pleased with the results so I'm going to brag:

89 words

Speedtest

"I love you (e)bay, and if it's quite alright, I need you ebay"

I haven't worn a watch for over four years now and I can't even stand to wear a bracelet for very long without ripping it off. This poses a dilemma, since I'm almost always running late to just about everything and I work at a job where it's very important to always know what time it is. The solution? A pocket watch!! I saw one at the mall today that I really liked that was on sale for $39.99 for Fathers Day (I think the sales clerk was annoyed when I said I wouldn't need it engraved since it was for me.) Well, I thought long and hard about it and then decided I'd check out eBay and see if they had any for less expensive.
I'm so glad I did! I found about a million and one amazing pocket watches and a ton with auction times that were ending that hour. (I'm too impatient to wait for more than a day for an item I'm bidding on. 'Buy it Now' has become my best friend.) Anyway, the cost of the watch was....get ready for this...$.01 That's right, one cent (plus $10.99 for shipping, since it's coming from Hong Kong.) Can you believe that! It will be here in 7-21 days and I can hardly wait! $11.00 for that beautiful pocket watch. I can finally be on time for things and will always know what time it is while I'm at work.
Hurrah for ebay and hurrah for saving money.

Urban Dictionary

Here are some of my favorites from the Urban Dictionary (urbandictionary.com)

Fat Badge

A stain on your clothing, especially a shirt, resulting from the sloppy eating of greasy food. Any greasy stain on clothing.
1. After winning the corn-dog eating contest, Carl wore his fat badge with pride, knowing that no detergent known to man would ever remove it.

2. Ah, I guess I'll throw this shirt out... I don't want anyone to see my fat badge.

Pizza Tumor

A large burned air bubble that sometimes forms in the crust of a pizza, rendering the slice that contains it significantly less appealing.

Customer: "I'd like a slice of cheese, please."
Sbarro employee:
Customer: "Not that one with the pizza tumor!"

Madam's apple

Noun. A pun on "Adam's apple," it refers to the large bulge on the trachea when it occurs on a woman. (Note: this may be the sign of a male-to-female transvestite or transsexual, or may simply be the luck of genetics).

"Holy crap! Look at that madam's apple on Ann Coulter!"


Google Drift

To drift aimlessly between subjects of interest, by finding them accidentally on a web search for something else.

"I was looking for information on the Holocaust and I found a lot of neat sites with historical facts about Germany."
"Oh, so you were google drifting."

Seattle and the Red Sox

(You can click on the 'View All Images' link if you don't want to watch the whole slide show & just want to see the pictures)

Man oh man did we have the time of our lives in Seattle! It was the PERFECT cure for all the stress and worry I've been dealing with. On Sunday we flew out here at 11:00 and got there around noon. We took the bus to downtown Seattle and walked to the Seattle Center, where the Space Needle is. Awesomely enough, the Folklife Festival was happening so we got to hear great live music and see tons of amazing art. After that we went to our hotel and checked in and then spent the rest of the day exploring the city on foot. We probably walked a total of 30-40 miles on this trip and I wouldn't have done it any other way!
Monday, Memorial Day, we did a ton of fun things. We walked to Pioneer Square and did the Underground Tour, which is a tour of the remaining underground part of Seattle that was the original Seattle before it burned to the ground over 100 years ago. It was pretty spooky and a lot of fun. On the tour we met two other Red Sox fans named Mike and Ray (which wasn't a surprise considering the city was SWAMPED with Sox fans!) and we totally hit it off with them. We ended up meeting up with them at the game and I'm pretty sure we've made friends for life. One of these days we'll fly back east to meet up with them at Fenway. Anyway, the Underground Tour was great (our tour guide looked and sounded exactly like Norm McDonald and donned a sweet Elvis denim jacket: see photo on slide show). After that we ate a great lunch at a dive called Marios and did some more touristy stuff like the Seattle Aquarium and the Ye Olde Curiosity Shop.
That night was the game and we walked to Safeco Field with a million other Red Sox fans. It was so exhilarating and I couldn't stop smiling. We got there early enough to see the Sox do batting practice, which meant we could stand about 30 feet from them. Totally incredible.
The game was fantastic, Sox won 5-3 (would have been 5-1 but Papelbon almost blew it in the ninth!) and I only wish the time wouldn't have gone by while at the game. We walked back from Safeco Field to our hotel, which wasn't such a hot idea considering the warm weather and all the crazies that come crawling out of their holes. We had a crazy lady try showing us her head wound to prove that she needed money. That was a little bit scary!
On Tuesday we did some more sight seeing and then took the bus back to the airport. I've never been so bummed to leave a city. It's a good thing we own a home because otherwise I would never have come back. I would just transfer to a B&N there and pay our last month's rent. Actually, as much as I love Seattle I could never leave Boise, especially with Heather & Zane and the kids. Plus, we're such a short drive down to Utah to see the rest of the fam.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we went to the Seattle Art Museum, which was freakin' amazing and the first thing we do is snap a picture of me next to my all-time favorite Andy Warhol painting and this security guard comes huffing over, all bent out of shape because apparently you're not supposed to take pictures in the art museum. Well excuuuuse me!
Anyways, it was the best time I've ever had and I can't wait to do it again!!!

LOLCATS!

I'm nuts about LOLCATS. If you don't know what those are here is a great website that shows what it's all about. There is also a wikipedia article about LOLcats and the language that's used for the captions, known as LOLspeak or LOLcode. The Icanhascheezburger website has a thing that lets you build your own LOLCAT picture, so I took the opportunity to make one using a picture of our kitty Oliver. Here is the result; if it makes it up on the main page for voting you'll have to give me a good score :)


moar funny pictures

Here is one of my favorite pictures from that site:

Journals: The Original Blog.

I've been reading a couple of my journals that I kept when I was growing up and I have been thoroughly enjoying myself. The first journal I kept was one I got for my seventh birthday. After that was full I started a second journal that my Aunt Bonnie got me for my 14th birthday. It's hilarious to read my thoughts from back then. I'll post a couple of my entries and I'll type them exactly as their written, with original spelling just for kicks.

September 27, 1989 (I was 7 years old)
One week ago G+G Allen left on their mission to London England. Saturday I went to work with Heather. She works at Swen biceiccul shop! She has a little truck that she uses to haul bikes to the stores. it was fun And I love Heather.

October 23, 1989
In one week It's Howlwen. I'm being a devel. I'm going to ever house in are ward. I can't go to my G+Gs house because there on there mission.

Here's one from my sixth grade year:

March 9, 1994
Dear Diary, have decided to start updating what is going on lately. 1st I am in sixth grade and I am still eleven. Most people think I am at least 13 because I am so mature. I am very excited for Jr. High and a little scared. I will be taking clarinet. My school's name is Westmore Elementry and the name of the Jr. High is Lakeridge jr. High. I have some good fiends in my class. Though we often get in little arguments. 2nd I love shopping and for my birthday all i want is clothes. I have designed lots of little drawings of clothes. I don't like bell-bottoms now that they have come back in style. I am finally out of my horse loving stage and my sister Heather is on a mission.

August 31, 1997
Princess Diana was killed today. She and her boyfriend died in a tunnel after their car crashed because they were being chased by paparazzi. We came home from the rendezvous in Wyoming today and I saw a flag at half-mast. I half joking said, "Okay, who died in the 24 hours we were gone. I'm sure nobody too big." Then Laurie came back to the car and said, "Princess Di died!" I couldn't believe it. I'm still in shock. I just hope Prince William and Harry are okay. I'll talk about something else before I get totally depressed again. We started school on Monday. It's alright, I guess. I have a couple of friends in every class. Yesterday we went to Ft. Bridger for the Mountain Man Renezvous again. We go every year. Heather was down from Seattle. Melissa came with us. The two of us are going to try and get tickets to U2 when they go to Seattle. Heather made dresses for she and I this year. I had so much fun! Tomorrow is Labor Day. I'm not sure what my plans are. I'm going to Gold's Gum tomorrow or Tuesday. Lindsay J. has a pass there so we'll get pumped up together. Well, gotta go.

So hilarious!!!

This play by Manny was AMAZING!

I know that there are lot of people that read my blog that are not Manny Ramirez fans, but come on! During yesterday's game he catches an impossible fly ball hit by Kevin Millar, jumps up the wall to high five a Red Sox fan, throws a hard throw to shortstop and they get Aubrey Huff out, who was running to second, thinking Manny wouldn't make the catch.

Simply amazing.

This almost makes up for the losing streak they're on. Almost.

Parent's visit, final yard pictures

Mom, Eliza and me enjoying the market.

The beautiful ladies at the Saturday Market

Lola sniffing the new grass. She went bananas for the grass!

Lola rolling around in her new grass!

The finished product--look really close & you can see Levi's plumber butt :)

Here are a couple of pictures of our trip to the Farmer's Market this past weekend with my mom. Eliza looks so grown up Heather is such a good mom to her. Also, here are the final pictures of our sod being done. Lola thoroughly enjoyed it!

My mom and Bruce came up on Friday and  stayed until Sunday evening. I always forget how much I enjoy being around them. Levi and I really do look up to them and we are so blessed to see them as much as we do. 

I miss you guys!!

MOM AND DAD ARE HERE!

My mom and Bruce got here this morning and I couldn't be happier! They left Utah at 5:30 am (NOT Bruce's idea) and we've been having a ball. Eliza and Wilson are so hyper around them and you can see how much Eliza worships my mom. Tomorrow morning we're going to the Saturday Morning Market and I'll take lots of pictures and post them later.
Oh yeah, we FINISHED our yard! Well, not "finished" but at least the sod is in. Of course Lola has found a new favorite place to poop. She couldn't poop on the DIRT SIDE OF THE YARD. That wouldn't be any fun.
I'll post more pictures later...off to enjoy a great meal prepared by Heather and enjoyed by all.