New Favorite.

Tonight I let Levi pick the movie we went to and, surprisingly, he picked The Young Victoria. It was BEAUTIFUL! Very romantic, very sweeping. Absolutely gorgeous.
Highly, highly recommend it.

A Great American Voice

J.D. Salinger passed away today and it's got me thinking about his fiction. To explain how much I love The Catcher in the Rye is like trying to explain why I like baseball: I just do. Something in my brain clicked the first time I read that book (in Heather's Jackson Hole apartment the summer I turned fourteen) and I've never looked back. His rule-breaking style of writing and his understanding of adolescent angst is unparalleled. I respect that he was a recluse and didn't want to be hounded. Great artists aren't usually the ones in the tabloids, they're the ones quietly putting out masterpieces. I can only hope another book will come along and sweep me off my feet the way The Catcher in the Rye did.

"I don't care if it's a sad good-by or a bad good-by, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it. If you don't, you feel even worse."
-Holden Caulfield

The Big Leviowski

I'm getting so excited for Levi's 30th birthday! Not only are we going to have a great bowling party, but my mom and two of my nieces will be in town too! I reserved three lanes at the BSU student union building on Saturday February 27th and I'm putting the word out to any family or friends within fifty miles of Boise to join us.
Afterwards there will be the requisite viewing of The Big Lebowski. Can't wait!!

P.S. One of these days Levi and I will attend the northwest Lebowskifest in Seattle.

Happy Birthday Scott!!

(No kittehs were harmed in the making of this picture, at least I don't think they were. LOL!)

Happy Birthday to my FAVORITE big brother. Ok, he's my only big brother, but I'd bet that even if he wasn't the only brother in our little family, he'd still be my favorite. Scott has a way of making people feel special, whether it's phone calls, a great big "Scott" hug, or his willingness to say "I love you." Scott is one of the warmest human beings and I am still bummed out that I never had a teacher as cool as him. Scott and I can have an entire conversation, just in movie quotes. That is a talent he ensured I had, ever since I was a little girl :) His wife Stephanie and his girls Athena, Cassidy and Whitney are all very lucky women to have him in their lives.
Scott, on this day I hope you know how much Levi and I love you. You are my big brother, my father figure and my friend. I love you and hope you have a great birthday!!

"Hey Whitey, where's your hat?!"

My mom has GREAT taste.

So my mom has a big crush on Mike Holmes from HGTV's "Holmes on Homes."


Hmmmm.....I wonder why.....


Eeenie Meenie...


Miney Mo...

LOL!!

The Little Babushka

That was the best picture I could get of Buster with his scarf on, he wiggled around too much. He's a very funny dog and we're lucky to have him in our lives.

Just though you should all know.....

....that my sisters are amazing.
That's all.

More bad news

Today I found out that my progesterone levels for this month were extremely low, which basically means I didn't ovulate fully, even though I took my normal dosage of Clomid. This was the first month I was back on Clomid since the last miscarriage and I had such high hopes that we would get pregnant right away. I know everyone out there is probably sick of hearing me be sad about our situation, but today was such a blow. I really thought I was ovulating fine (every other month that I've been on Clomid I've averaged between 11-14 ng/mL and this month is was only 4. 5ng/mL is the minimum number for real ovulation.)
Was I given a placebo dosage of Clomid? I don't think so since I exhibited all the symptoms of it, like hot flashes and crazy mood swings. I don't know why my number was so low this month and I can't believe how bummed out I am about it. You'd think I'd get used to this, but it seems to only get harder with each passing month.
Most people live their life knowing, consciously or unconsciously, that the next step is coming, whether that be marriage, kids, a career, etc. I've realized now, that I've been waiting my whole life for the next step being kids and now I'm having to face the fact that it may never happen. I have no way of turning off my biological clock and I simply can't let myself think that I may go through my whole life without a child. How can this be? I've wanted nothing more and it's the one thing I can't have.
I have a fantastic life, there's no denying that. I have a great husband, a cute house and a great job. I am so appreciative of these things. I just don't feel complete yet, and the only thing that will complete us is a child in our home.
I used to say that I would only want a boy baby. Now I say I don't care what sex it was, as long as I can get pregnant. I used to say that I wanted at least two kids. Now I say I don't care if I only have the one, one would be perfect. I used to say that I wished our house had a bigger room for the baby. Now I say I would live in a one bedroom studio apartment if it meant we could have a family. I used to say that I would only want a baby if I didn't have to work full time. Now I say that I would work two full time jobs if it meant we could bring a life into this world. I've given up every preconceived notion of what it would be like to have a family and would now explore any option.
I think one of the hardest things is feeling so alone with this. I literally don't know anyone who suffered from infertility and just never had any kids. Most people can afford to have in-vitro or adopt. We have no options, other than monthly medication, and I'm scared to death it won't work. My mom wonders if there is a support group out there for people suffering from infertility and I'm going to start looking for one.
I know most people use their blogs to write happy updates and funny stories from their kids, so I'm sorry if this bums anyone out. I just have to get my feelings out there. I hope one day to use my blog to tell a funny story of something my child did or said, but for right now I'm using it to air my feelings and frustrations with our infertility.
I normally don't request anything like this, but if possible, please pray for Levi and me. It's very humbling to realize there's nothing you can do and have to rely on your faith to see you through a tough time. I've never asked for prayers for myself, I've always thought I could handle anything that got in my way, but not this. This is different and we need your prayers. Please help us with our dream of having children.

Thank you,
Carly

Guilty Pleasures: The Challenge

I saw a post on Facebook that asked you to list ten of your guilty pleasures. I thought it would be fun, but more importantly I want to see all of your guilty pleasures. Consider yourselves tagged. Post them on your blog (Heather and Michelle, I especially want to see yours!) Can't wait to see them!

Here are mine (in no particular order)


1. Award shows. I love seeing the great gowns and I get so excited when they announce the winners. Pathetic much?


2. Lady Gaga. Enough said. (I'll let you in on a little secret: Levi loves her even more than I do!)


3. Puffy Cheetos. I know how bad they are for me, but I would eat a bag a day if I had no shame. Oh wait, I don't.


4. Letting my leg hair grow for a week or two in the winter and then shaving it all off. Gross, yes, but very satisfying.


5. Gossip magazines. I'd never buy one (except People, which is much more credible than the rest.) I like reading them at my work when I'm on my lunch break.


6. The Colonel & his delectable vittles.


7. Giving myself Charlie horses. I like to stretch my leg so I get a cramp in my calf and then I walk it out. I've always done this, no idea why.


8. Staying in pajamas all day on my day off. If I get dressed I feel like I should be doing something productive, but if I stay in my pj's I have to stay inside and read all day.


9. Bridget Jones' Diary. I could watch that movie once a week.


10. Bonnie Tyler.

Let me count the ways....

Things that I love about Levi:

**When I'm upstairs on the computer and I can hear him giggling at a movie or tv show downstairs. He has the best laugh in the world, it truly is just a loud giggle.

**When I come home from work and he's created a dinner. I say "created" because he likes to experiment with meat. Lately he's been perfecting a noodle/carne asada dish that is to die for.

**How much he loves our animals. Levi would die before he let anything bad happen to our pets. The conversations he has with the dogs are priceless. I can't wait to see him as a dad. I think my number one reason for wanting a baby so badly is to watch how great of a father Levi will be.

**His butt. Levi has the flattest, skinniest butt in the world, but I love it so much!

**How much he loves my family. I know we're not always easy to love, but you'd never know it with Levi. He loves all my siblings and worships my mom. I hit the jackpot with him.

Levi, I love you so much and I'm constantly in awe that you would put up with me for nearly five years now. I knew the minute I met you that you were special and I hope you know just how much you mean to me.
Love, your humble wife.

Wilson.

This is just one of the many, many reasons why I love my nephew Wilson:
(click on the pic to get the full effect.)

2010!

Happy 2010!!
We had a great New Years Eve and we couldn't be more excited to start a new year. We spent the evening of the 30th at my father-in-law's house. Levi's foster sister Sayaka and her husband Mark and two boys Akira and Taiki were there and with everyone else and we had a great time eating and chatting. I've so appreciative of my in-laws and I'm so blessed to have them so close to me.
New Years Eve involved me coming home from work, Levi and me eating at Red Robin and then watching six or seven episodes of The Wire. Not too exciting, but we had fun nonetheless.
I'm not usually one for New Year's resolutions, but I figured I ought to have a couple this year, so here goes:

♥ Lose 20lbs. I know, I know. I say this every year, but THIS year I have incentive: Levi's sister Avery is getting married in August and I want to look fabulous in the pictures. Selfish? Yes. Motivational? You betcha!

♥ Read more "classics." This is another thing I say I'm going to do every year, but this year I really want to commit to reading books published before 1935.

♥ Keep a clean home. My sister Heather told me about a something called C.H.A.O.S. It stands for Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome and I suffer from it 100%. I want to keep my house as orderly as possible so I don't have panic attacks when someone is going to come over.

♥ Appreciate what I have. I have a great job, a wonderful husband, a working car, wonderful family and many, many more things that make my day brighter. I feel that I've become a complainer lately (ok, I've always been a complainer, but more so lately than usual) and I want to take time each day this year to appreciate what I have.

Well I hope all of you out there had a great New Years and I hope 2010 is a fantastic year for everybody!


(Still can't figure out how to stop red eye on my new camera.)


(Avery, Sayaka, Taiki, Sevy and me.)

Book Quiz

Recently I bought a copy of The Bibliophile's Devotional for my sister Heather. I ended up liking it so much I bought a copy for myself too. It's a book that has a synopsis of a classic (classic being subjective, since many of the works are modern) work of literature for every day of the year. I like it because, along with the synopsis, there's a snippet of a review for the book as well as the book's first line.
I realized that even without reading many of the true classic works, I was able to recognize the first line (hopefully that's because I've been inundated with those lines in pop culture and not because I've started and not finished many, many classics.)
So here's a quiz: Match the first line of a book with the book's title. Leave your answers in the comments. No CHEATING! I'll post the answers in the comment section. See how many you can get right!

1. (This is an easy one) "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."
2. "All this happened, more or less. The war parts, anyway, are pretty much true."
3. "My father and mother should have stayed in New York where they met and married and where I was born."
4. "Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice."
5. "There was no possibility of taking a walk that day."
6. "Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again."
7. "We are at rest, five miles from the front."
8. "Samuel Spade's jaw was long and bony, his chin a jutting v under the more flexible v of his mouth...He looked rather pleasantly like a blond satan."
9. " My legal name is Alexander Perchov. But all of my many friends dub me Alex, because that is a more flaccid-to-utter version of my legal name."
10. "It was Wang Lung's marriage day."

Here are the books (out of order, of course) See if you can match them to the quote:

a. The Maltese Falcon
b. The Good Earth
c. Jane Eyre
d. All Quiet on the Western Front
e. Angela's Ashes
f. Everything is Illuminated
g. One Hundred Years of Solitude
h. Rebecca
i. Slaughterhouse-Five
j. Pride and Prejudice

***Click on the comment link to see the answers***

Christmas and the (almost) new year

Wow! Is it really almost 2010? Where did the time go? I am so excited for the new year. 2009 was a tough year and I can't wait to have a fresh start. Also, does anyone else feel like the future has arrived whenever you say the year is "Twenty Ten"? I think it sounds so cool, although when I was a kid I thought we'd be on flying skateboards by now....
This year we had an amazing Christmas and spent lots of time with our families. Levi's mom Maria was in town, which is always a treat, and Levi's foster sister Sayaka and her husband and kids were able to come from Japan to be here for Christmas. Christmas Eve is always spent at one of Levi's uncles houses and then we go over to his dad's house where we all open our presents to each other. It's taken a couple of years for me to get used to opening all our gifts on Christmas Eve, but I love it now and it also means that Levi and I get to sleep in on Christmas Day and then give each other our stockings that morning.
My big gift this year was amazing. Levi and Heather came up with the idea of getting me a Geoffrey Krueger painting. I am still in shock that I own one and I am so grateful to all of you who chipped in for my Christmas gift. Levi did a great job of keeping it a secret and I am so pleased to be an owner of a real piece of art (not to mention it's just like the one we saw at one of his shows that I fell in total love with! It's of the Boise River, which is one of my most favorite things about this city.) Heather also recently acquired a painting from him, and it is absolutely exquisite. Geoff and his wife Susan are in Heather's ward and we've all become friends over the past few years. My next goal is to save up for another of his paintings. He has done paintings of homes in various stages of dereliction and of water towers, among other buildings and for some reason these paintings really leap out at you and force you to stare. I love them.
On Christmas Day we saw Sherlock Holmes which was a very fun movie and that night Sevy came over with Maria and we watched one of the movies I got Levi for Christmas. All in all, a VERY good day.
Well, here is to the future, "Twenty Ten", and hoping that all of you out there have a safe and prosperous year. Love you all!

Sevy, Sayaka with Taiki on her lap, me, Maria and Avery

Seth, Chris, Avery and Maria getting ready to open more presents.

Julie, my father-in-law Brad and Grams.

Levi and Brad

Our painting!! I could stare at it all day

Here's the painting he did for Heather. Breathtaking huh?

Buster hit puberty.

Our little Buster is all grown up, but instead of a bar mitzvah, he's getting neutered! His appointment is tomorrow and I'm so nervous for him. I know he'll be fine, but I wonder if he'll be ok alone for a whole day because he spends every waking minute with Morty (literally, they don't leave each other's side for more than one minute at a time.) Lately, Buster has started the inevitable humping of Morty and Morty is not too happy about it. Because of this, and because we've procrastinated long enough, it is time for little Buster Boy to become a man. Mazel tov Buster!

Our Buster has gone from this:

...to this:

(how awesome is it that Levi just happened to be wearing the same shirt!)

Buster and Morty are so fun together. They are such dorks and they have such distinct personalities. Morty gets jealous when we try to take pictures of Buster and Buster doesn't care what we do as long as Morty is nearby. They seriously make my day better and I'm so glad I married someone that loves having as many pets as we do.

Morty's smile:


Two bad boys:


Morty wants nothing more than to hold hands like a little old man. He'll sit like this and stare at you for hours, if you let him:


Crazy eyes (I need a new camera):


Morty attempting to snuggle. He's bigger than he thinks he is:


Our kitty boys (no chance of getting a picture of all four pets together)

Tis the Season...blah blah blah

Working retail during the holidays always seems to give me a bit of the "Bah Humbug" blues and this year is no different. It's unbelievable how rude and pushy people can be at the holidays, especially considering what the holiday is celebrating.
Another issue I'm having this year is not being able to buy all the wonderful gifts for my family that I'd like to. We are on a strict budget and it's killing me. All the medical bills from our infertility issues keep coming in and we're just trying to stay on top of them. Normally I like to handpick fun gifts and, as long as they were under $30, never thought twice about buying them. Now I have to think extra hard about what someone would want and it has to be $15 and under. This is very challenging and I'm apologizing in advance to everyone out there (my in-laws never read this blog, but hopefully they see this since it affects them too) that your presents may be a tad on the lame side.
Something that is cheap and not lame is our new Christmas tree:

It's the Charlie Brown Christmas tree (only $11 at your local Fred Meyer!) I love this tree so much. I feel like it represents how I feel about Christmas this year: low budget, low maintenance and all-around minimalist. You know who else loves our new tree?
OLIVER!

He feels this tree was a gift to him and he plans on laying near it all day, every day and occasionally pulling off the lone ornament.
The weather in Boise has been FREEZING! I forget that it can get this cold, especially since the summers can get so hot. The other day, I left for work at 9:30 am and it was -2 degrees. -2 degrees?!?!. I didn't sign up for that! Of course, I did move to Boise in June, which is the most gorgeous time of the year. I was suckered in and enticed by the smell of the trees lining the river and warm days at the pool. Never were there thoughts of dirty snow pushed to the side of the road and days so cold my car wouldn't start. Luckily I have a husband who doesn't mind shoveling the walkways and is willing to let me park my car in the garage (such a man thing to have a garage filled with things other than cars.) Levi really is the only thing that keeps me going in the winter. Oh, and wearing sweaters and boots. I love that too :)
Changing gears a little bit, here is a favorite conversation I've had with a customer. This sums up why I consider becoming an alcoholic every December:

Customer: I wanted to see if the item I ordered has come in.
Me: Yes, it came in yesterday. We will hold it for you until the 22nd of December.
Customer: So it's there today.
Me: Yes, as I said, it came in yesterday. It's on hold for 2 weeks for you.
Customer: So if I come in, it will be there.
Me: *Banging head against nearby hard object* Yes! Your item is here. It's here! We will hold it for you! It's here!
Customer: How will I know that it's really there?
Me: *Fashioning a noose out of tissue paper* Because I'm looking at it. It's here, I PROMISE!

I know it doesn't seem like much, but that exchanges like that happen at least four or five times a day and it can get so frustrating. I implore all of you out there to be extra nice to anybody working retail. We are all miserable, I assure you. Please don't assume we're doing anything to make your holiday anything but extra special. Also, is it really anyone's fault that you waited until mid-December to do the bulk of your holiday shopping? Just sayin'
Well, I don't know about you, but I feel better :) Blogging about the holidays has made me like them just a little bit more.

Nom nom nom

I can has Turkey? Heather and Laurie with the gorgeous bird.

What a great Thanksgiving!
We drove down to Utah on Tuesday and left Thursday evening (yes, we made it home without crashing from the overdose of tryptophan.) The food was incredible and I can't thank Laurie enough for hosting it at her house. As usual, I hardly got any good pictures and I realized, too late of course, that there were several family members I didn't get one photo of. Next time I'm down there I'm just going to have to round up Scott's kids for a photo shoot :)
Here are some that I did manage to get:







Charlie in his basket.