May 8, 2011

Today is my first Mother's Day and what a great day it has been. Little Hadley was the best Mother's Day present I could have ever asked for!

Today is also the last day I have off before I return to work tomorrow. Going back to work full-time is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life and I wouldn't do it if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

I will miss spending my mornings with Hadley, watching a little bit of t.v. in our pajamas, then giving her a bath before getting ready for the day. I'll miss seeing her in her little swing while I do my hair and makeup. I'll miss taking her with me in my car while I run errands. I'll now have to plan my errand trips well in advance, so I don't lose any time away from her. I'll miss hearing her little noises; her voice has changed so much in the last two weeks and it breaks my heart to think how much more will change while I'm at work. I'll miss looking into her eyes for hours each day. I think I've spent more time in the last seven weeks staring in her eyes than I have sleeping. I'll even miss changing her diapers! I love seeing her kick her tiny legs in the air while I try to fasten the diaper. It's always a race to get her diaper on before she pees again...I've been peed on more than once in these past few weeks!

Here are the things that I want Hadley to know before I return to work:
Hadley, you have been an absolute joy to me. These past seven weeks have flown by, yet I can hardly remember a time that you weren't in our lives. You are the perfect addition to our little family and you have filled this house with a warmth and joy that I didn't know existed. I have to work to help provide for all of us. Daddy and I work so hard so we can live in this wonderful house, have a safe car, and be able to take you to the doctor if you ever get sick. There is nothing that I want more than to stay home with you every day, but that may not happen for a while. In the meantime, Grandma Katie and Aunt Heather are going to help take care of you for a few days a week and they are the BEST. You will never go hungry, you'll never go five minutes without a hug or a kiss, and you'll never wonder if you're loved. All the family you have in your life worship you and you will never feel pain as long as we can help it. You will also get to spend a lot of time with Daddy on the weekends while I'm at work. Maybe he will take you hiking in the mountains or will keep you with him while he works on the yard. You will have so much fun with him, he loves you so much.
Little Hadley, please know that I'll think of you often while I'm away and it's your tiny face that will motivate me to do the best job possible and race home at the end of each work day. I will sneak many peeks of your pictures and will call home many times to hear your tiny voice. I love you so, so much and want you to know just how wonderful you have made my life. Now be nice to Grandma and Aunt Heather and know that Daddy and I will probably get a bunch speeding tickets racing home to see you.

Love,
Your Mommy